Here are some additional questions for a couples..

You both ask these of each other.  These are not meant to be one-word answers, but well thought out conversation starters.  You might want to take notes, but for those who have a spouse who doesn’t like to discuss money that might not be wise because that might make it too formal for him or her. Plan a couples retreat where you can get away from home, and take 3-4 hours to ask these questions of each other. The goal is to be away from the house to put you into the mindset of handling business with no distractions. TURN YOUR PHONES OFF!!  Take some champagne (or some other fun item) and put it prominently in the room so your spouse knows this weekend isn’t ALL about money. Bring their favorite foods to have a lunch break; divide up the 3-4 hours into two sessions.  When you all get through with these questions below, go out to a club or someplace, like you were teenagers again… and have yourself a GOOOOOD time!

 

  • What is an individual goal you would like to achieve in the next five years?  (Take time to think and answer.) 10 years? (Take time to think and talk out the answer.) 20 years? (Take time to think and talk out what you are thinking about.) How can I better support you for each category? How are you tracking this goal? (Don’t get mad if they have not thought about their goals. LOVINGLY help them! Don’t push too hard, this might be a new process for him or her.)

 

  • What are some couple goals you believe we should achieve in the next five years? (Take your time and answer and talk through where you both feel you should be as a couple.) 10 years? (Take your time and talk this through!) 20 years? (TAKE…YOUR…TIME!!) What’s the best way to track these couple goals?

 

  • How many children do you want to have? Where and when should we start saving for their college if we haven’t already?

 

  • How long should our children be able to live at home? What happens if one of us feels our daughter or son has gotten too comfortable living at home? What is the best way to get our child ready to be independent? (Remember…there is no wrong answer. This is just a means to see how your partner thinks so you know how to respond and meet in the middle.)

 

  • Would you ever want your Mother or Father to move in with us? If so, should we be looking for a house with an adjoining carriage home or is the guest room fine? If not, how should we go about making sure our parents our provided for? Do we have enough LTC (long-term coverage)? Can we afford a retirement home for our parent(s)? Is a home even an option?

 

  • Do you see this home as the best place to live for the next 5 years?

 

  • What does an ideal vacation look like for you? Are we on the beach, in a city, or in the mountains?

 

  • Answer honestly…are there ANY expenses you think we incur that you feel we shouldn’t? (Be honest about your shopping and also be honest about buying those power up items for that dang game, for you adult gamers!)

 

  • When was the last time you felt you wasted money? What did you waste it on and how much was it?

 

  • How many times per month should we discuss our goals, budget, and other financial concerns? What can I do to make it easier for you to have this conversation? (For the people who have a “resistant” spouse, try to let them lead and introduce what they would feel comfortable with doing during this conversation. DO NOT beat him or her over the head or condemn them. This is obviously a very sensitive topic for them and this needs to be handled with a lot of love and patience, but it needs to be handled!)

 

Marriage and Money Part 1

Marriage and Money Part 2